Dear tow truck man, You were supposed to be here at 4:00 to pick up my car. It is now 5:10 and you’ve been saying for the past hour that you’re “on your way.” From where?! CANADA??? I’ve got other shit to do besides wait around for you, asshole. Sincerely, a very dissatisfied customer
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,...– Albert Einstein (via missldn)
It drives me crazy not knowing what you're...
freefliers: Mansions - Millions of Pieces...
We have to try to get rid of the notion of time. And when you have an intense...– Paulo Coelho (via skinmaps)
Put these in my ask; and I'll tell you (:
convallaria-: ⚓- a secret about myself ✄- A fear ♡- something i love ☂-something i hate ♛- something random
My dearest birth control,
I love you and all, really. I mean you do a lot for me by keeping me babyless. But I could really do without the extra 5lbs you give me. I mean seriously?! The thought of being naked with this extra weight is “birth control” enough..
Strike 3, you’re not getting laid tonight. :) whoops! Sorry…
Joan motherfucking Cusack?!?!!!
You’ve got to be shitting me..
Texting w/ D
Dan: omg in the city and ebs are every where kinda nervous right meow
Me: haha get it!! Side note: the fact that you said meow instead of now just upped you on my list. Ten points for Gryffindor
Dan: How far down am I on this list and who's above me I may need to take them out lol
Me: Don't worry, you're on top. Just how I like it ;)
Lesson three: I am never upset for the reason I think.– Love is Letting Go of Fear
I could get used to this whole not sleeping on my...
You’re good company<3
You don’t have a Soul, you are a Soul. You have a body.– C.S. Lewis
Lesson two: Forgiveness is the key to happiness.– Love is Letting Go of Fear
I've never felt so comfortable with who I truly...
Lesson one: All that I give is given to myself.– Love is Letting Go of Fear
I've been reading all day. I mean that literally;...
If you haven’t read this book, I suggest you do so asap.
My mind is feeling really heavy, going to...
Wanna hear a story about my penis?! ….nevermind it’s way too long.– Jordan James Hunter
TMI TUESDAY, GO!! →
IT'S MY MOTHER FUCKIN BIRTHDAYYYYYY :D
It’s 11am and I’m still drunk. Success. Happy Caturday =^.^=
Ita my mothercfucmin bithfay bitchssssss aint shit